Well, I told my parents.
I don't like girls, I like guys. Well, that was how I told my parents I was gay. My parents gave me freedom and were quite liberal with us during our growing up years. But I still couldn't anticipate what their reaction would be, as we are still like any other traditional Chinese family. I had read up online, plus asked many friends for their opinion, basically did all the research that I could do but one can never really be fully prepared to come out to one's parents can they?
One night I decided to take the plunge. I asked my parents to sit and told them I got something to tell them. It wasn't easy, and I tried not to fumbled. I got my message out. What does that means? They asked. It means I am gay. I guessed I had hoped for a highly positive response. (must be watching too much tv) But the truth was they couldn't take it, they were disappointed, sad, and thought of it as a problem, an issue, a phrase. I know where they were coming from, and tried to let them understand. Obviously what I struggled with for 10 years before accepting it myself, I can't accept them to accept it in 1 hour.
My mum took it harder than I expected. She teared and asked if it was her fault. I told her not to blame herself, but my confidence were fast crumbling that I could make this a positive experience.
In the end, we agreed that they need more time to think and understand. And I assured them that yes studies come first. And that I would print materials from online for them to read, experiences shared by other parents with gay kids. They said that I was still their son and they still love me and stuff. Of course, the disappointment and shock that they never though that this would happen to them still exists. But I am largely glad that this can still be considered a slightly positive outcome. Hopefully in the months to come, they will understand more and more about the son they always had.
One night I decided to take the plunge. I asked my parents to sit and told them I got something to tell them. It wasn't easy, and I tried not to fumbled. I got my message out. What does that means? They asked. It means I am gay. I guessed I had hoped for a highly positive response. (must be watching too much tv) But the truth was they couldn't take it, they were disappointed, sad, and thought of it as a problem, an issue, a phrase. I know where they were coming from, and tried to let them understand. Obviously what I struggled with for 10 years before accepting it myself, I can't accept them to accept it in 1 hour.
My mum took it harder than I expected. She teared and asked if it was her fault. I told her not to blame herself, but my confidence were fast crumbling that I could make this a positive experience.
In the end, we agreed that they need more time to think and understand. And I assured them that yes studies come first. And that I would print materials from online for them to read, experiences shared by other parents with gay kids. They said that I was still their son and they still love me and stuff. Of course, the disappointment and shock that they never though that this would happen to them still exists. But I am largely glad that this can still be considered a slightly positive outcome. Hopefully in the months to come, they will understand more and more about the son they always had.

1 Comments:
i think you are really brave and you have done all that you possibly could to come to terms with who you are.through considering the thoughts of everyone and your own. being honest, researching, reading up on everything and even helping your parents come to term with it. it really is wonderful, the way you are approaching it. you, are possibly the bravest gay friend i have and im really proud of you and you have my respect. i dont think i could have done what you did. i think you have really done well thus far. dont give up, things can only get better :)
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home